The Nurturer of the People:
Excise & Make The World a Better Place

Thanks to our loyal and diligent excise cops, the heads ot the Really Really Big Show (me, Andy and Nathan) were almost arrested this weekend at out beer pong tournament. They busted up the event during the championship, looked through their book of charges for an hour trying to come up with something to bust us for and couldn't do it. However, the did arrest a guy sitting at the bar with his girlfriend (who was his sober designated driver) and then two guys out in the parking lot getting into a cab to go home. They busted them for public intox. So evidently it is now illegal to get drunk in a bar and then get a ride home from a sober driver. Ridiculous. At least there is some good news, they say they've been watching us for awhile now which means, the RRBS is among Indy's most wanted!

It does raise the question though, if we were such a cancer to society, and they were there watching us the entire time, why didn’t they bust it up before hand. Why didn’t they call the bar and tell them not to hold the event? It sounds to me like they were more interested in making arrests then serving the public good. And if they are going to sit their paddy wagon and wait to arrest people, why not stop people trying to drive away drunk? Why make it a priority to arrest a guy with a designated driver and guys getting in a cab? Well-done excise! You have just made the city safer for those of us worried about sober drivers on the road.

These guys remind me of the scientists who work on things like making ketchup run slower. Why spend your time finding a cure for cancer or finding a more efficient fuel when you can make heartier ketchup! It’s the same mentality… we’re not going to bust up the drug dealers tonight, or stop the murders downtown, or even watch for domestic violence and the rapes that occur every night… no, my very important job is to arrest drunk people as they try to get a cab home.

But I will say, Excise does serve a purpose in the hierarchy of law enforcement. Without them, who would mall cops have to look down on? Even the guys in yellow shirts at the speedway or the old men in red jackets at Pacer Games serve more of a purpose. At least they stop drunken people who are causing problems.

By the way, as an update for those of you wondering about the guys who got arrested, they were handcuffed, taken downtown, thrown in a cell, and made to sit there for 12 hours before getting their court date on a charge of Public Intoxication. Let’s hope the family of the kid who got shot downtown tells excise thanks for not being there to stop the violence. Instead, they were sitting undercover in a bar waiting to bring down a fun game of beer pong being played in an orderly manner and by the books by consenting adults.

Normally I don’t ask for people to spread the word, but I do ask that you pass this message along to as many people as you can. This situation was ridiculous, and people need to know about excise abusing their power.