The Nurturer of the People:
Feeling Good About Feeling Bad

For the most part, I hate being sick.  I can't stand not being able to breathe, sore throats are the worst, followed closely by ear aches, and the constant feeling that you just ran 20 miles isn't all that great either.  That being said, I have been sick all week.  I don't know where I picked this bug up, but I'm going to go ahead and blame Stacy, because she's got the same thing and it's an easy solution. 

I don't get sick very often, but when I do it hits me like a Hooters Girl's boyfriend.  I don't take it well; I get moody and very very lazy.  However, that's also where a little of the fun comes in.  Sure, when you're sick there are a lot of things you can't do like drink to excess, exercise, or stay up past 9:30 but at the same time, it gives you a license to whine, bitch, do nothing, tell people off and get away with slacking at work.  There are benefits to being sick, and I enjoy using every one of them.

In regular life, I have a hard time speaking my mind when someone pisses me off.  Not true when I get a cold.  I can tell someone off, make them cry, punch them in the face or steal their car and then just blame it on the Dayquil.  You can't argue with the scientifically proven side effects carefully listed on the side of the bottle.

Also, when you're sick at work, all you have to do is mention it to two or twelve people and all of a sudden everyone leaves you alone, nobody checks on you in your office, and if you happen to fall asleep, you just say "damn, that Tylenol flu said it was non-drowsy."  Then you leave early, and every one happy as hell that you did because they don't want what you have.

And as for the exercise, you never really want to do it anyway.  Plus you can always justify not exercising by saying "I'm sick, and haven't had the same appetite.  It all balances out."  Sure you put on ten pounds... but you weren't going to be out at the bars impressing anybody anyway with your runny nose and whooping cough.

And isn't Nyquil sleep the best sleep ever?  Sure it makes you have dreams like you're Gollum from Lord of the Rings trying to escape Gondor or that you're hanging with the Pacers and need to find a teleporter at a local grocery store so that you can get to the game on time, but you sure as hell feel rested the next day.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, I hate being sick and if I find out who gave this too me I'm going to hunt you down and stick my heating pad, box of Kleenex and slippers up your feeling good ass.  I'm sorry; I think that's just the Dayquil talking.