The Nurturer of the People:
I Am A Champion... For Real This Time

Last night started like any other. I was just going to go out and have a few drinks with some good friends, but little did I know that my life would change forever. You see, I left for the bar as a normal, everyday guy (albeit with strikingly handsome looks), but I left the bar a Champion.

That's right, I am a champion! As I ordered my first beer at the Wild Beaver Saloon I was informed that there was going to be a contest that evening. When I asked what the contest was, I was told it was a "Rock, Paper, Scissors" competition. When I asked "No, seriously, what is it?" I was informed that I had heard them correctly. It was indeed a Rock, Paper Scissors contest, and it was happening in just a few short hours.

I was persuaded to sign up and compete, alongside my friends Matt Covele and Nathan Boyer. We were nervous going in to this battle as all of us were going in cold. I have had no formal training in this game, nor did I have time to prepare. I didn't know who my opponent would be so I couldn't watch any tape or do any prep work and I wasn't really even that familiar with the rules of the game.

As it turns out, none of that would matter. When the time came I stepped up and took on some guy I'd never met before. We had an epic battle with him taking the early lead. I think over confidence got to him though, as I was able to bounce back and wrap up his rock with three papers in a row. With this I advanced to the next round.

Waiting for me in Round two was a familiar foe, Matt Covele. He had won his first round match in a controversial fashion, but a win was a win, and now he faced me. Though he came out aggressive, I was able to dispatch of him quickly, and move on to the finals.

Once again I would face a friend in heated battle as Nathan had also made it to the final round. It was an evenly matched game as we continued to throw out the same plays over and over. Neither one would give. But I guessed correctly that Nathan would play aggressively, and try to outwit me by throwing Scissors when I least expected it. I in turn countered with a surprise Rock, knocking him off his game, and putting him down for the final count.

With that, I was given a T-shirt, told I was the winner of the Wild Beaver Contest, and now eligible to win a trip to Vegas to compete in the World Championships of Paper Rock Scissors. I'm not joking people… I could be on ESPN doing this. The Regional Championships take place at OPT's in Broad Ripple on April 10th, and I plan on winning the whole thing and going to Vegas!

I can do this because I have a fool-proof plan. We all know that Rock beats Scissors, Scissors beats Paper, and Paper beats Rock. But I plan on shocking the competition when I throw "The Shocker." Because the Shocker beats everything!