 |
RRBS Softball 2 - Game Log August 26, 2008 Players: Rob Baughman, Kelly Davis, Beth Harsany, Mike Jennings, Andy Lang, Katie Puls, Laurie Silbernagel, Jon Stropes, Jamie Tate, Matt Thompson When you’re trying to recover from a 21-0 beat down, there is only one thing that you can really do, laugh it off. So, being the fun souls that we are, we decided to continue our game nine tradition of doing something goofy. Last year was the goofy hats, so we couldn’t do that again. We needed something else, something new, something bigger. We needed Goodwill.
This might have been the most fun I’ve ever had shopping, especially with other guys. We were like kids in a candy store… or, idiots in a discount shopping store. Rob went right for the pink section, Beth was looking through t-shirts, Andy was trying to find a blouse, Mike was going through old man clothes and I was hunting for anything with a big animal on it. It didn’t take all of us long to find multiple items we wanted, and were soon in the dressing rooms trying things on for one another. The other shoppers had to wonder what we were doing when we’d come out dressed like freaks to the applause and laughter of one another. Rob had found a nice little number consisting of a pink shirt advertising Rebecca’s Bat Mitzvah. Andy looked like an old lady tourist in his fancy Rome Blouse and baggy baby blue pants. Mike looked like he was set out to go to a redneck church with his cutoff plaid shirt and brown shorts complete with yellow belt. Beth had decided on a nice little leather S&M vest. And me, we I found exactly what I’d been looking for, a t-shirt sporting a big tiger face and a pair of camo pants. We also picked up Hawaiian shirts for Laurie and Kelly so that they too could take part in the fun.
With clothes in hand we drove back to the Lang house, and started our little dress up party. Before I could put on my clothes, I had to cut the sleeves off of the shirt to finish off the look. I think got into costume, and boy did I look badass. Andy then walked out in his tourist outfit, and had topped it off with a beret. Frenchy was all set for his big game. Mike added to his outfit with a beaver hat, which I have no idea why he had in his possession, and Rob had added a shiny shirt to his wardrobe to make him look like a dancer at a gay club (not that I would know what that was like.) Soon Stropes, Laurie and Katie arrived, and were ready to join in the fun. Katie was already wearing her outfit for the night; she was dressed as a little country girl, complete with tank top and straw hat. Of course, with Katie, she was going to have to be a little whatever she chose to dress up as. While Laurie was picking out which Hawaiian shirt she liked best, I gave Stropes his close and made him go change in the bathroom. When he came out, I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or throw up. I think I did both at the same time. He looked like he was ready to play in a girls powder-puff game at homecoming, and I couldn’t have been happier.
So instead of going to the practice field (it was too dark by then) we all piled into our cars and went to the park. The whole way I was upset with myself for looking too much like a good ol’ boy to pull this outfit off. I knew I should have gone the gay route. We pulled into the parking lot, and I immediately made the “no man left behind rule” which meant we were never to wonder the park alone. You didn’t want to get corned by an all male softball team wearing these getups. The girls looked too attractive, and the guys looked too flaming. All bad news. Across the parking lot I saw Mike put on his beaver head, and it disturbed me cause I didn’t know weather to look at his eyes or the eyes of the beaver. It was like being hypnotized. I decided I just wouldn’t look at him or his big beaver.
While everyone else took the time to stretch and warm up, I got out the camera and took as many pictures as I could of this ridiculousness. We had Frenchie throwing to Robecca, S&M throwing to Hawaiian Girl #1, and Beaver tossing it around with football flamer. All the while, Cowgirl stretched and I snapped photos. Around that time Jamie strolled up to a scene she wasn’t expecting. She had worn a bright yellow shirt, but that wasn’t going to be enough, so Beth gave her the sparkly vest she’d brought with her. This not only gave Jamie a little flair, she looked like an Asian dancer who just got off work in a Miami nightclub. So, Mae Ling was now officially part of the mix.
Andy was followed by Mike and his Beaver, and I have to say, it was probably the most difficult thing in the world to take him seriously up there with that goofy hat on. I was hoping that the opposing pitches were going to have just as much trouble as I was with it. Other than that, my pitching seemed to be right on the money during practice. We got through almost everyone before some other team came up and kicked us off the field. Something about “being scheduled to play” or some lame excuse like that. So we packed up and headed back to field three where that other game was still going on. When we got there though, the captain of the other team asked if any of us wanted to jump into their game as they were down two people. Andy and Stropes jumped at the chance and joined their squad… in what had to look really weird to everyone else. When they stood with us, it was fine, because other costumed freaks surrounded them. Andy took over pitching duties and Stropes went into the outfield. It was odd seeing Andy in a beret out there, throwing the ball to guys in baseball uniforms, but somehow he made it work. It was a struggle at first as he had a hard time finding his range, but with a little help from his fielders, they made it through the final two innings. I don’t remember if they won or last that game, because I really didn’t give a damn about that score. I was more concerned with going to the bathroom to relieve myself of the energy drink I’d had early. I really didn’t feel like going to the facility looking like Larry the Cable guy, but nobody really seemed to take much notice of me, or my Dukes of Hazard hat. When I got back, Kelly had appeared (before the game started) and was changing into her Hawaiian shirt. Stropes and Andy were also back, and we were now able to swap places with the team that was playing, and move into the dugout.
But, even with the irony, I didn’t want the rest of the team to know because I saw how they took the news last week. Instead, I told them that this was the team we should have beat from earlier in the season, and that we’d be fine. We were loose, we’d practiced well, and we almost always did better in the late games under the lights. Andy went out to do the coin toss while I worked the line up, and of course, we lost. I wasn’t having much better luck in the dugout either because I messed up twice doing the lineups, and almost got to the point where I wanted to destroy the book.
It seemed to work right off the bat, no pun intended, with us filling the bases pretty quickly. Rob, in his hot pink, started us off with a nice double, followed by Laurie and then myself. Then, after a couple of outs, Mike was up to bat, Beaver head and all. He was standing there looking ridiculous with the bases loaded when it happened. The ball was pitched to him, and he crushed it. I don’t know if the other team had cheated in because he looked like he couldn’t hit the ball, but it was going way over their heads, and back toward the fence. This was for sure going to be either a true home run, or an in-the-park homer because it was going to land near or over the fence. Nothing could Soon, we were out of that inning, and into the field. I felt good about how we’d played so far. Even though the ump we had was the old, angry man that hated us (now even more because we didn’t take the game seriously enough), we had been getting decent calls. I also wasn’t too worried because my pitching had been pretty good while practicing. I started right where I had left off, throwing them right down the middle. The problem was, they were hitting them wherever they wanted… mostly in between our infielders and outfielders. We just couldn’t seem to stop anything, until Mike and Jamie caught pop flies, and I finally made a play at second. It was nice because we’d been trying to do that play all season long and finally made it happen. The Thompson to Kelly connection had finally worked! I wouldn’t trust it to work again by any means, but hey 1-for-50 isn’t bad.
The next time we were up to bat, we struggled to get a hit… and by that I mean we didn’t get any. Three up, three down and back out in the field. Here’s where things got nasty. For some reason, I all of a sudden forgot how to pitch. I could not get things over the plate. Everything was either way short, or way long. It wasn’t helping that Gatsby’s had decided that they weren’t going to swing any more, and the ump had decided he wasn’t going to call anything in our favor again. It was a long painful Though we were once again getting beat like a drum, we were having a lot more fun this week, mostly because of the costumes. Whenever Mike went up, there was a Leave it to Beaver chant. For Andy, we’d yell any French words we could think of… mostly oui oui, bonjour and uh-hunh-hunh. That never got old. The best nicknames of the entire night though happened back to back. The first one came when we were getting destroyed, but Beth managed to save an inning by getting a double off of a bunt, and a missed throw. This was followed by Katie screaming “way to I had decided to give up pitching duties to Andy because he’d done so well in the game before, and I was doing horrible. That meant I got to go to the outfield, which is something I’d wanted to do for a while. It was going to be me, Rob, Laurie and Katie out there, and I was ready.
Only a few plays later, Andy was still pitching when Gatsby’s captain stepped up to the play and hit a rocket right at Andy, hitting him in the chest. Somehow he managed to salvage the play, but never really looked all that happy the rest of the game. I was happy though; happy it wasn’t me pitching anymore. Thank you poor eyesight and noodle arm. The rest of that inning went relatively well, and injury free. We decided after we made it back to the dugout though, that when we were back in the field, I would move over to first and Jon would go to the outfield. I was more than happy to make the switch.
My theory was right as we ended the game ended on three quick strikes by us. Gatsby’s looked as excited to win the game as they were to be rid of us. For some reason, no one enjoys playing a team in costumes. Lighten up people; it’s just a game. I mean look at us. We had just had our asses handed to us again, most of us were hurt, and many of us were tired… but we still got together to take a team photo. One last big embarrassment before the night was over. Now that’s how you play softball.
|
Instead of meeting at the practice field, we instructed everyone who could make it to come to Andy’s house at around 7:45. Our plan was to meet there, then journey over to the Goodwill where we would find our uniforms for the evening. Mike, Beth and Rob all made the tip over there with Andy, Stacy and I, and we were instructed to find outfits for Laurie, Kelly and Stropes as well.
My favorite of all the purchases though was what I picked out for Stropes. It was a see through blue football jersey that exposed a lot of belly, and pair of black karate pants that were going to barely cover up his calves. I was so excited; I couldn’t wait to get back to Andy’s.
But my happiness was dampened a bit when, among all my costumed teammates, they told me that I looked too natural in my outfit. There was no freaking way? When have I ever worn anything with a big animal head on it, aside from maybe at the zoo? And I’d never worn camo in my life. Angrily I walked into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror, and then I saw it. It did look too natural. It’s as if I should have been born a hillbilly. I looked like Larry the Cable Guy’s younger (much better looking) brother. Shit!
As we walked in for some reason we drew a lot of attention from the other players, spectators and workers. I don’t know why, but they couldn’t stop starring at us. Our reputation as a kick-ass softball team must have proceeded us to the park. We strolled through gawker after gawker on our way to field three, making a few pit stops to say hi to people we know, and explain that we weren’t from the “Make a Wish” foundation. Upon arriving to field three, we noticed the game was running long, so we decided to pack up and go over to field 2 (astro-turf hell) and do a little warm up, as there were no games being played at the time.
After I was done playing photojournalist, I lined up at the plate and began throwing warm up pitches to Beth. I have to say; I still don’t know how Beth was able to crouch in that outfit. Soon Andy was up to take some practice swings, and he almost killed Laurie with his first shot to the outfield. We were soon playing a game of Andy telling me how each of my pitches was a ball, followed by him calling out where he was going to attempt to hit it. It’s a fun game… we always play.
Out there, it was just the two of them and a bunch of normal guys.
One thing I failed to mention, and I failed to mention it to my team as well, is that we were scheduled to play Gatsby’s, not the much easier team I had told them we were going to play. When I saw the name Gatsby’s on the schedule, my heart sank, but I didn’t want the rest of the team to know. You see, Gatsby’s was the team that completely crushed us and our will to live last year. They destroyed us in the same manor as the team from last week did… you know, one of those teams that has no business playing in a D-league. The irony of the entire thing is that these were the guys we dressed up for last season. How fitting.
Since they were a man short Gatsby’s decided to take the field first. That also meant we’d be batting first, which wasn’t so bad because that way we’d get to show off our new uniforms one at a time. We decided to switch up the order a bit for this game, rearranging almost everyone. Rob and I were now toward the front of the order, while Stropes and Mike took our spots toward the back.
keep us from taking an early 4-0 lead… except for one thing, a ground rule double. That’s right, of all the things that could have happened, the only bad one was if the ball bounced off the ground and then over the fence. Wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what happened. So, instead of getting 4 runs, we only got two. That was a major momentum killer.
When we were up again, I was informed that the other team had begun asking why our team’s pitcher hadn’t dressed up like the rest of the team. For those who haven’t been paying attention that meant that they thought my tiger shirt, camo pants and orange Dukes of Hazard hat was my standard wardrobe. Do I really look like that much of a hillbilly?
inning, with me struggling to pitch, and fielders not being able to make the plays when they actually did hit. Finally, the girls dribbled a few off the bat, and Beth was able to throw them out a first. This was followed by Andy making a play at short, and then for some reason riffling the ball to third base. I thought poor Jamie was going to lose her head, but somehow manage to avoid the toss, and grabbed it off of the fence. Three runs later, we were back in the dugout.
go S&M!” Which was then followed by our entire dugout chanting “S&M! S&M!” What happened next was even better though. Mike, still pissed about the ground rule double, nailed the ball out to center field and took off flying around the bases. He quickly caught up to Beth as she was turning third and was only one step behind her as they ran to home, with the ball flying in from the outfield right at them. I was surprised Mike didn’t pick her up and carry her those last few feet, because he wanted his home run one way or the other. Two more scores were added to our total before Stropes struck out again, and we were back in the field.
At least I thought I was… the first ball was hit right to me, and I ran underneath the damn thing. I lost it in the air, and all I could see was a blurry yellow orb fly over my head as they ended up getting a triple out of it. Good thing Rob had anticipated me blowing the play, because he was right there to save me.
Once again, our batting was atrocious and we were quickly back out into the field. Gatsby’s had a knack for making double plays on us. In fact, they made 4. We made 0. Bud, we did do better out in the field this time, only giving up 4 runs. I think Mike scared them when he almost killed a girl trying to throw her out at first. He was playing shortstop, and fumbled a ball that was hit to him. He decided he was going to make up for lost time by throwing the ball as hard as he possibly could. I wasn’t able to reach out and grab it in time, and it almost hit the poor girl right in the head. I think this was the girlfriend of their dickhead captain though, because he almost had a heart attack. The ump looked less than pleased too, or course, that was his usual look.
I don’t know what happened out in the field during that inning, but both Katie and Laurie came back to the dugout with back injuries. This wasn’t good, because they were both up to bat that inning. At that point, we all sort of knew that any comeback chance we had was gone.
