Posted 5/16/06

Sports Suck

This is not a joke, but a true story. If you can come up with a punchline for this story, e-mail me at alangrrbs@comcast.net.

--Japanese female boxer Nanako Kikuchi retained her World Boxing Council strawweight title. She beat Siriporn Thaweesuk who is in the middle of serving a 10 year jail sentence for dealing drugs. The fight was inside the prison, and here’s the kicker. If she won, the chief of the prison said she would release her from the remaining 4 years on her sentence.

-Colorado University is in trouble again. This time, an allegation was made that a former basketball assistant tried to motivate his team by saying, “darker-skinned players were tougher”. Maybe that’s because they’ve all been in jail before.

- Jacksonville Jaguars WR Jimmy Smith has decided to retire after 13 years. Smith is 37 years old. Vinny Testeverde said, “These youngins need to toughen up”.

- Tennis superstar and hottie Maria Sharapova has demanded that women players receive equal prize money as men. Really Really Big Show superstar and hottie Andy Lang has demanded that women earn their money on their backs the way the good lord intended.