Posted 6/15/06

Sports Suck

In a minor league baseball game, a seagull flew in between the catcher and pitcher as a pitch was being made and was hit by the ball. The bird was ok, and was awarded first base.

The Duke Lacrosse team was re-instated by the school’s administration, and has a new interim head coach. He is a 25 year old assistant who claims he’s not nervous. He shouldn’t be. He’s not locked in a bathroom with the team.

A quarterback for the University of Tennessee was suspended after being arrested on a drunken-driving charge. The man’s name is Jim Bob Cooter. They suspended his license so now he has to drive around on his Jim Bob Cooter Scooter.

Mario Williams will sit out the rest of the week after having minor surgery on his toe. At first the were going to call a doctor, but then they decided to call a tow truck.

Now it’s time for the Ben Roethisberger jokes.
The joke starts with this line, and there are 5 punch lines to follow.
Ben Roethisberger was in an accident in which he ran into a car while riding his motorcycle with no helmet.
1. Apparently he was on his way to visit Kellen Winslow and Jason Williams in rehab.
2. It took 7 hours of surgery to repair his face, and unfortunately they were able to save his beard.
3. Willie Parker tried to help him into his hospital bed, but Jerome Bettis had to come in to finish the job.
4. There was so much blood on the street afterwards, his new nickname is “Roethlisberger Rare”
5. Roethlisberger has a very impressive record in just a few years in the NFL. Unfortunately, concrete never loses.